There are a lot of BIG changes & NEW beginnings going on, asking us to up-level, back ourselves and put ourselves “out there”.
Initially, these new possibilities and opportunities feel euphoric! Exciting – a sense of “expansion into” and adventure! Which infuses you will a sense of aliveness …until you start “thinking about it”…often showing up as analysis paralysis and decision fatigue. Doubt kills dreams and passion. Sometimes it serves a purpose and can be useful. Most often than not, it talks you out of believing you’re worth the effort.
So how do you keep moving from the initial WOW and creative space, despite what these changes are asking of you in terms of risk-taking, self-belief and self-exposure? (And the growing pains that come with this)
Itching to get “unstuck” and back into the game of living and co-creating your life? In this episode I share 3 practices (researched and verified, and which speak to the biology, science and psychology of confidence building) that you can start applying RIGHT NOW to amp your mojo!
Now that you’ve had time to watch the above episode, the “feel the chemistry” challenge has 3 practices. Choose ONE to start and apply it for a week or two. Once you’ve made it part of your awareness and practice, move onto the next one. Experiment with them, tweak them to suit you – you are the expert on your life – so commit to yourself and find ways to make it your own!
- Honour your Basic Instinct & the 5 Second Rule: In chemistry, “activation energy” refers to the least amount of energy required for a chemical reaction to take place. So when your gut, intuition or instinct have a hunch; when you notice a desire to do something or when you struck by an idea that lights you up – ACT ON IT! TED Speaker Mel Robbins calls it “the 5 second rule”. You have 5 seconds to act on your instinct and harness that activation energy. Whether you do it straight away, right down the idea, voice-note it on your phone – some physical action that marries the urge with a “doing”. After 5 seconds, fear, ego & “over-think” show up and talk you down. Initially you feel ok about your inaction, because the voices in your head found a way to justify or “rationalise” not honouring the whisper of inspiration.
But consider this: What does your not acting imply? Maybe that you’re not safe? That your don’t trust yourself? And how do you think that impacts your self-confidence if you’re not willing to back yourself? Be like Nike & just DO IT! Activation energy is your body’s way of communicating insight, instinct and aliveness. Trust you’ve got this by showing up! Don’t over think – the brain and old wiring can be a dangerous neighbourhood! Osho says, “The mind is a beautiful servant, but a dangerous master.” What’s really the worst that could happen? And would it result in the end of life as you know it? Maybe, it might lead to something amazing and the beginning of life as you want it!
When it comes to confidence, you build confidence by DOING. It’s called “experienced-based neuroplasticity”. Which means you a) build confidence by doing it and being it ,and b) you gain confidence physiologically by doing and trusting yourself! Also, once you start being, doing and honouring it, you harness activation energy and you actually FEEL LIKE doing it! Most of the time, after you have risked “self-exposure”, you realise it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be and are happily wowed by what comes of it! (Which is often LIFE giving you evidence that you are supported and that living the mystery and adventure is where the magic is at!) #ActivationEnergy
- Celebrate the Effort: Do a happy dance. Tell a friend. Journal about it. Find a novel, ritual-like way to congratulate yourself for the effort.
This forces the brain to pay attention and send you dopamine and serotonin to reward you for being awesome and courageous!
AND feel PROUD! Pride as an experienced sensation/emotion releases high doses of the happy hormones! Don’t just move onto the next thing! Don’t go straight to “what could I’ve done better or differently?” STOP. SOAK IT UP! Take 20 seconds to really sense – which translates into you giving all the cells in your body a chemical high 5. If you don’t take the time to do this, these awesome acts of bravery get wasted, go unnoticed (by yourself) and confidence levels remain unchanged.
Studies also show that people who celebrate and focus on the effort, and not only the RESULT develop a growth mindset, are great solution finders, agile and resilient! They practice putting themselves out there, which means they are DOING & BEING confidence, resulting in being ROCKING risk ninjas and adventurers!
- Dopamine kicks: Write down 1 thing (the first step) you can start doing to support your new beginning and desired change. (You’ve got to want this thing – not see it as a “should” or “must” or “have to”. That just puts you in a negative space and the “red zone” of bad stress.) It could be “Meditate for 10 minutes every morning” or “Be in bed by 10 pm” or “Make one phone call a day to find a new job”. Whatever is meaningful for you. Then, break that goal down into micro steps that you will take to do that one thing. I’ll use the meditation example: 1 – set alarm for 5 am. 2 – Put off alarm when it rings. 3) Pull back covers, put feet on floor and get out of bed. You get the idea.
The reason for this is when you set a goal you desire, and then you achieve it, you get a hit of dopamine, the reward hormone. If you break that goal down into the small steps that make it up, each time you do that small step, your brain recognises it as a single goal, and gives you a dopamine kick. So instead of getting just one, you get however many micro steps you take.
Remember, I said at the beginning “Get back into the game of life and co-creating!” See it as a game. Have fun! Life is supposed to be enjoyed! And remember, things won’t always go according to plan – and that’s ok, how we learn and it’s all part of your Hero journey and the adventure of your life! You gotta keep choosing you, every time doubt or a bump in the road shows up. That’s the work of living your personal alchemy & the flavour of the chemistry of authentic living!
Below I’ve shared an inspiring video by Prince Ea for awesome inspiration and truth bombs (#Danielle LaPorte coined awesome phrase)
Feel free to share this with anyone you think would resonate and get value from this – so they can amp their confidence too!
Until next time, keep vibing & thriving as you create a life that inspires you!